You Can Always See Me
by mistyblue814
Summary: Taking place a couple of days after episode 'Dume', Hera finally gets some sleep and has a reassuring dream. {Written because I'm sad and need some closure so I made some happy angst. Warning: do NOT read if you haven't watched the new episode unless you don't mind spoilers! Please tell me what you think!}


Sabine almost winced at how loud the door opening seemed to be, however, once it was fully open, she slowly leaned in past the wall, poking her head through the doorway ever so slightly as Zeb and Ezra stood at the end of the hallway with Chopper, watching her. Looking through just enough, her gaze finally landed on the bed. Staring silently, the tension in her shoulders suddenly lifted, her shoulders dropping with relief as she saw Hera's form still curled on the bed, her head rested against the pillow, her eyes shut in deep sleep.

Sabine sighed, a slight smile on her face as she leaned back out, turning to the controllers again and shutting the door.

As soon as the doors shut, everyone dropped the breath they were holding, the static fear dissipating in the hallway among the crew.

"She's still sleeping," Sabine confirmed as she walked to them, her voice still a whisper at that point out of fear she would accidentally awake Hera.

Ezra nodded, following Sabine with Zeb as she made her way back to the common area. Grabbing the mugs from the table, she placed them in the sink, beginning to run the water.

As Ezra took his seat again, Zeb leaned against the doorframe, Chopper rolling past him.

"You know," the Lasat told her, "when Hera finds out that you put sleeping pills in her cafe she's going to kill you."

"Well we had to do something," Sabine shrugged, looking over her shoulder at them. "She's been up for almost three days straight! She was wearing herself down. She would have dropped from pure exhaustion at some point."

Ezra nodded, rubbing his own forehead. None of them had been getting good sleep particularly. But at least they had been taking naps in small doses to keep themselves somewhat energized. When Hera's bags under her eyes were blacker than soot and there was a lifelessness about them, he agreed to Sabine's suggestion about some old sleeping pills she still had.

"Maybe we should all head in for a bit," Zeb suggested, looking at Ezra and patting his shoulder.

Looking over her shoulder, Sabine looked over at Ezra and gave him a weak smile.

"I guess these can wait till the morning," she agreed. Somehow they all slept better if they slept at the same time, even if they weren't in the same room.

~.~

Waking up, Hera almost gasped awake as she looked around, a cold air chilling her skin through her sweater as she looked around. It was dark…and it was Lothal…but

Was it Lothal?

She recognized the mountains, the rock formations around her, recognized the texture under her own hands, but it was the sky that made her unsure.

There were different constellations, different stars staring down at her, though ones that seemed just as comforting. The sky was different colours, not just from the natural black but in how they were together. The colours washed into each other, dark blues to darker purples, some of varying array of those colours, but they all moved together, not knowing where one ended and one began.

She stared up at them, standing up to look around, confused and slightly afraid. Where was the Ghost? Where was Ezra? And Sabine? And Zeb? And Chopper? Why was she alone? How did she come here?

The sky was dark, but the stars were bright, making it feel as though the sun was starting to rise, but she knew that it wasn't.

Looking around, she searched for the city, a skyline, anything to place her in a mental map she knew, but there was just vast landscape, beautiful, but unknowing.

She sighed, feeling a small panic start to rise in her before she felt a small warmth near her.

"It's alright."

Her back immediately straightening, eyes wide, Hera whirled around, not believing the voice that she heard.

Hera could only stare, her mouth agape, the familiar figure still in the green garments he had worn for years, his face no longer showing the burned scars, his eyes bright as she remembered seeing them for the first time.

"Hera," he whispered, almost relieved. "I've been waiting for you to sleep, so I could take you here."

Processing that for a moment, she stared up at him, still shocked.

"You brought me here?" she asked, barely above a whisper.

Kanan nodded, beginning to walk towards her.

"I wanted to—"

"No…no" she shook her head, taking her own step back, interrupting him to try and control her own spinning head. When Kanan put out his hand she pushed it away, taking a step back, shaking her head more, curling her arms around herself, feeling herself get smaller.

"Please don't," she begged, shrinking a bit into her own hug of comfort as she looked away.

Keeping his distance, Kanan didn't move to go closer to her. His arm slowly fell as he looked at her, feeling his shoulders slump in slight hurt to see her in such distress.

"Hera," he whispered.

"Please," she interrupted him again. Shaking her head, she sniffed a bit, forcing her tears back. "I can't do this again, Kanan. I can do this…."

She sniffled a bit more, her one hand reaching up to rub her eyes. She grimaced slightly, frowning as she remembered he was there.

"Hera, please listen to me," Kanan told her gently, taking a step forward hesitantly. However, Hera didn't pull away this time.

Still slightly bent from wanting to close herself off, Hera gulped, opening her eyes to find them slightly blurry from the water.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to him.

Confused, Kanan furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down at her.

"I don't understand," he admitted to her.

"I pushed this rebellion until it became a war," Hera whispered. "You tried to tell me it was wrong, that I was losing sight and I just…I was wrong. I did this and I.." She felt her voice start to break. "I never wanted this to happen. I should have listened to you when you warned me and now you're…and you did it to save me…if I had only…"

Kanan had taken the last couple of steps forward, instantly bringing Hera into an embrace holding her as her body began to shake slightly. Still curled into her own little ball, Hera leaned against him. Her legs almost shaking as she felt his familiar body against hers. Why did it have to feel this lifelike, why did it have to feel so cruel.

"Hera—"

"I'd change it all back in a second if I could," Hera told him. She had agonized over those memories for hours. Going back to that day, those days of planning and revealing, how Kanan literally shrank against her, trying to pull away. He'd been right. He saw the whole thing before she ever did.

"But I wouldn't."

Shocked, Hera was frozen for a second before she turned her head to look up at him. Kanan could only stare down at her, an understanding and comforting hopefulness coming to his features.

"I wasn't right, Hera, you were," Kanan told her his eyes looking over her. "Look how many people we saved, how many are starting to find the truth, how many people freed. There were losses, but we weren't going to change anything with just small groups. I can see your vision now, Hera, and I have hope in it. I always have even if I didn't want to believe it could actually happen because I was scared I could be wrong. But you were _right_ , Hera. You, and Ahsoka, and all of the leaders, you all created something that's going to lead to greatness. I know it will because I know that you, and everyone else who you inspire is going to put their whole heart into it."

Tightly closing her eyes, Hera shook her head.

"You've always been the smarter one. I should have listened to you," Hera whispered.

Kanan let out a small chuckle, smiling slightly, "me, the smarter of the two of us? Hera that's practically stating a cardinal sin."

Hera couldn't help but let out a snort. Laughing slightly as she tried to catch herself again. She let out an airy laugh, wiping her cheek before she felt her esteem lowering again.

"You've always kept fighting, always kept heart. What's going to come, that's all in part because of you, Hera," Kanan told her confidently. " _You're_ the one who's always seen the bigger picture."

She stared up at him, gulping as she took in those words, a feeling a slight tickle strand down her cheek. He'd never lie to her, but she didn't know if the words were true. At least, they didn't feel true.

Kanan seemed to sense her doubt because he continued.

"Hera, I don't regret a single thing of our time together. Not a day, not an hour, not a minute. I'd relive it all again even if I knew what was going to come. You created a life and family for me that I never would have known. I wouldn't be the person I became, Hera. You guided me there, you believed in me. You believed in all of us and help give us a home when we all felt like outcasts, as though we were damned forever. That was all you. You created a family and purpose for us. I wouldn't have become who I am if it weren't for you, Hera. I wouldn't change a single thing, Hera. I had another family because of you, I reconnected with my Jedi life from you, and I found a love in you and the others that I never thought I would feel. You were right, Hera, all these years. I've _always_ believed in you."

She felt lightheaded listening to him. The words sinking in, melting into her mind and she gulped, feeling as though she couldn't breathe. She shook her head, not knowing how to process the information. Kanan had always been her rock, someone she could go to. No matter what terrible thing had happened, if Kanan was there then she knew everything would be alright.

She hadn't realized he felt the same way with her.

Taking another gulp, trying to keep herself from the feeling of dizziness. Hera sighed staring up at him again, already she missed that face.

"I should have told you sooner," she whispered, her voice hitching slightly as she admitted her feelings. "I should have…I always thought that there was time, that _we_ had time…"

She shook her head. How could she be so stupid?

But Kanan was right there.

"I know, Hera," he answered her gently, his hands gently rubbing her back. "I've always known. You've never needed to say it."

Hera let out a shaky breath, between a desperate sigh to try and hold her tears and a laugh. She leaned against him, taking in a small breath before she forced herself to look up at him. Straightening herself a bit, she searched his eyes, those lovely green eyes.

"I feel like I was too late," she admitted.

Kanan shook his head, giving her a small smile.

"Never," he promised her. "I knew. I'd know it even if you never said anything. And I've always loved you. Ever since I met you and saw your brave, beautiful, driven, determined, caring, talently witty, and _kind_ spirit, a presence so radiant it was brighter than the sun, I was awestruck. I've loved you from the moment I met you. And I didn't need words to know you felt the same."

Hera felt her eyes go blurry as she stared up at him. She tried to breathe evenly, her head starting to ache from trying not to cry so much. Kanan stared back down at her, taking her all in. The sky around them began to become slightly lighter, wind of colours moving around her, trying to breathe life into her yet letting her know that time was coming.

She shook her head, trying to hold desperately to him, never wanting to let go. But Kanan only moved with calm grace, unwrapping himself from around her.

Gently cupping Hera's cheeks in his hands, he smiled down at her, his green eyes boring into hers, a smile softly coming to his lips. How he had missed those eyes. She stared up at them, captivated, longing, never wanting to forget the colour of his.

He pulled her closer slightly, a small smile still placed on his lips. She gulped, staring up at him, knowing it was going to end soon.

"Please don't leave," Hera whispered. "We need you."

Kanan's smile grew slightly, both of his thumbs gently stroking over her cheeks as he stared down at her. Looking deep into her eyes again, his voice was soft, comforting.

"You can always see me."

Hera felt the air in her throat and lungs collapse. She stared at him for the smallest moment before she felt her chest crack, buckling in as she felt a shutter move through her. She tried gasping for air, but it only made the tears come faster. She was barely able to let out a small whimper before the sobbing took over. She bent over, trying to contain and from feeling the sudden ache in her chest, but as Kanan took her into his arms she wrapped hers arms around him tightly, leaning against his chest as she sniffed against him trying to take in his feeling for as long as she could. Kanan rested his head against hers, enveloping her as much as he possibly could.

"I'll always be with you," Kanan told her gently.

Hera let out a small choking sound as she leaned into him.

"I love you," he told her softly, holding her close. "You'll never be without me and neither will any of the others."

He kissed the top of her head, eyes closing as he took her in one last time. Hera leaned against him, holding him as she felt the wind beginning to pull her away. Tightening her hold, he told her, "it's okay to let go. Stay with the others, take care of each other."

"I love you," she told him.

"Until we meet again," Kanan told her, leaning down. She felt his lips against hers as colours finally swirling around her as he let her go.

~.~

Hera's eyes slowly fluttered open, groggily staring at the world around her. There was a slight ache in her head, one she recognized from being up too long and not getting enough sleep, or getting too much sleep. She couldn't be quite sure what this one meant.

Looking at the time, she sighed. It would be almost sunrise on Lothal.

Laying her head against the pillow, Hera stared at the wall, the memory of Kanan's embrace still touched her skin. It didn't feel like a haunting anymore though.

Moving her hand, she traced it up and down the other side of the bed, the empty pillow and side making the world seem a little hollow. She stared at the place, trying to remember the image of Kanan, the outline of him sleeping beside her and only hoped that she'd never forget it.

Hearing a bit of clanking from outside, Hera's brows furrowed slightly. She turned to look at the time again, as though to confirm what it said, but it wasn't wrong.

Listening closer, she could hear small talk coming from the main room. What were the others doing up.

Staring at the side of the bed again, Hera was silent for a few more moments before she sighed. She knew that she shouldn't stay here, nor did she want to be alone. She wanted to be with her family.

Pushing herself out of the bed, her knees felt a little weak. Sitting at the edge of the bed, she tested them once more before pushing herself up when she found their strength. Catching her balance when she walked the first few steps, Hera walked to the doorway, pressing the button to open the door. Looking out, she took the first few steps before hearing Ezra talking, Zeb answering him in a small laugh. Hera smiled slightly, glad that they were looking out for each other…and looking out for her.

As she entered the kitchenette area, she was surprised to see that Sabine was the only one at the table, drinking cafe with her head down as she looked over information on the datapad. She was also still in her sleepwear. Hera and the others had been pretty lenient with themselves about old systems they would follow, such as staying in sleepwear just a little longer for the comfort of it.

Turning her head, she found Zeb and Ezra with Chopper, playing some sort of game at the other table, grinning to each other as they played, Chopper warbling as he moved something with his tongs before Zeb playfully pushed them away.

Seeing the movement in the corner of her eye, Sabine slowly dragged her eyes away from the datapad, finishing the sentence as she was turning her head to look up. The instant she saw the doorway, her eyes suddenly widened and she set the mug of caf down.

"Hera," she said, surprised and shocked.

Immediately hearing the word, Zeb, Ezra, and Chopper all looked up and towards Sabine, finding Hera near the doorway as they looked towards it. All of them were stunned for a moment, as though frozen in time before Ezra finally got up.

"Hera," he answered, walking towards her. "We didn't think you'd be up so early…we didn't wake you did we?!"

The Twi'lek immediately shook her head. "Oh, no, no Ezra you didn't. None of you did. I think I just woke myself up."

Ezra nodded, his stomach starting to churn, not exactly knowing what to say. Hera looked them all over again before Sabine sighed, speaking up in the silence. "Look, Hera, I'm—."

"Don't be, Sabine," Hera told her. "It's alright. And…actually I'm thankful."

The Mandalorian's face twisted slightly from confusion into a small smile of relief. Hera watched as the tension left her shoulders as she breathed out the breath she was holding in.

Moments of silence struck the ship again, everyone staring at each other, no one quite knowing what the next step was supposed to be, what to do on the first day without their crew mate.

Thinking of an idea, Hera asked them, "how about I make us some breakfast? I think we're all pretty hungry."

Immediately, Zeb stepped forward, clearing his voice a bit as he answered, "no, Hera, let me do it."

"Really, Zeb, I don't mind," she tried to convince him, but Zeb only shook his head, walking into the kitchen area.

"No, I don't mind doing it," he answered her. "Besides, it's my turn to make breakfast anyway."

Hera smiled, letting out a small breath before she finally nodded.

"If you insist. That would be great, Zeb," she admitted.

He gave her a small smile before gesturing with his shoulder, "take a seat."

Looking down at the table, she saw Sabine staring up at her, as though worried Hera may bite her, but also wanting her to sit anyway. The Twi'lek gave her a small smile before she nodded to Zeb, moving to sit on the other side of the table.

Moving forward, Ezra passed Zeb and asked, "mind if I take a seat?"

Hera shook her head, a soft smile still on her face. "Not at all."

The Jedi nodded, staring at the seat for a moment before he moved in to sit beside her.

Sensing the awkward tension going to build soon, Zeb asked, not looking over his shoulder, "hey Sabine, anything interesting on there?"

Sabine took another gulp of her caf before she answered, "not really, but then again it's always the same egotistical brainwash the Empire always tries to spew. Some of the sentences are hilarious though."

As Sabine began to share, a smile on her face as she read out the sentences, Ezra leaned into the table a bit more, listening to her as his face started to grow a smile again. As Sabine began to giggle, Ezra laughed not too much long later along with Zeb, Hera watching his shoulders moving in laughter as he listened to Sabine.

Staring among them, her family, Hera slowly smiled, understanding one of the complexities of Kanan's statement.

 _You can always see me._


End file.
